Energize Your Love Life

Would you like to energize your love life….and add some spice? Some fire? Has your relationship with your partner lost its spark?

Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.” Billy Crystal



Would you or your partner rather watch the late movie than make love? Making love used to be so much fun, so exciting. But something has happened to the old zing…your love life has become predictable and, well, maybe even boring.


The number one problem…

Lack of a strong sexual connection is the number one problem of couples seeking counseling. They’re committed to and love each other, so what’s the problem? In the beginning of a relationship, hormones are released that bond us emotionally and sexually to our partner. We think it will last forever, but it doesn’t.

Good news

Don’t worry, you can turn things around. It’s not unusual for a couple that’s been together for a while, busy with jobs and children, to lose their close emotional and physical connection. The good news is that if you’ve lost the spark you once had, you can reignite and energize your love life. Go ahead and make the first move.

10 ways to energize your love life

1. Increase physical affection. Holding hands, hugging, and touching releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Don’t wait for him or her to start. Surprise your partner with some flirting.

2. Spend time each day with your partner doing things you both enjoy. Cuddle on the sofa during that old movie. Make some rituals that you do together, a walk, a cup of coffee, a date night.

3. Break the pursuer-distancer pattern that often occurs when desire fades. Going too far in either direction builds resentment. Stop blaming each other for a lackluster love life.

4. Clear your mind of the day’s debris. Your unburdened mental attitude allows you to be in the moment with your attention on you and your partner.

5.  Add variety to your love life. Try something new. Share fantasies, change locations, add more romance. Get out of the house.

6. Share you needs and feelings with your partner. Resentment is a turn-off. Get help if you need it.

7. Never refuse sex as a punishment or use it as a reward.

8. Take some time to care for you body. Buy some lacy lingerie, get a haircut, dash on some perfume or cologne. Do something that says, “I want to be attractive and sexy for you.”

9. Anticipation is half the fun. Take your time and allow the tension to build. So will the pleasure.

10. Keep a sense of humor. Sex can be fun and funny.

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